Friday, November 27, 2015

Classic Mom

Leftover rolls sounded like a good life decision, this morning.

I popped two into the toaster oven, selected "bake" and then realized that my parents' toaster oven doesn't let you just bake something....you need to specify the amount of time.  I set the time to 15 minutes, knowing it would take less, and my mom exclaimed, "15 minutes?!"

"I'll stop it before then, but I don't want to set it for 5 minutes and then have to reset everything when it's not long enough."

"Are you sure you want 15 minutes?" asked my mom, which is her way of saying 15 minutes is too long!

"Yup."

After 1 minute, "Don't you want to check on your rolls?"  This is her way of saying you should check o the rolls.  My mom is very passive aggressive that way.

"Nope."  I am more direct.  :)

After a few more minutes, "Do you want me to check on the rolls for you?" she asks.

"Nope, it's fine."

A few more minutes go by.

She goes to the toaster oven and exclaims, "The rolls are burning!!!"  Now, you have to understand, she said "the rolls are burning" but it was exclaimed with the same panic that one might exclaim, "Your baby is on fire!"

"Do you want me to turn off the toaster oven?!"

"Nope," I say.  I was very doubtful that anything was horrifically burning, considering it didn't smell like it was burning.

"Should I put it on warm?" she asks.

"Nah, it's okay."  I was slicing some apples and wanted to finish it.

"I'm going to put it on warm," she fusses.

I finish up my apples, and walk over to the toaster oven.  My rolls are nice and golden brown - toasty on the outside and warm and fluffy on the inside.  You know....like a roll.

"Are they too burned to eat?" asks my mother.

I start to wonder if she has sustained some kind of head injury.

"No...they're good."

Man, what is it like to lead a life where you get that stressed out over dinner rolls?  They weren't even hand made dinner rolls...they were bought in a 12 pack from the store.  It'll be okay.  Even if they caught on fire....you could probably have still eaten the bottom.

When dinner came around, I left my room and walked to the kitchen.

"It smells like burning," I announce.

"I burned the rolls," says my mom.

Because I'm the nicest person in the world, I say nothing.  I didn't even laugh at her.  Well, I mean, I laughed on the inside.  I'm not dead inside.

In a nutshell, that is my mom.  ^_^

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